


Dicking Around

by fxvixen



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Dicks, M/M, the kind where your writing appears on your soulmate when you write on yourself
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-04
Updated: 2017-06-04
Packaged: 2018-11-09 01:13:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,045
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11093814
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fxvixen/pseuds/fxvixen
Summary: Matsukawa and Hanamaki always seem to end up talking about dicks and, more specifically, the fact that Hanamaki apparently doesn't know what they look like.





	Dicking Around

**Author's Note:**

> i'm not even sure, okay. please just read it

“Hiro, honey, don’t you want to write to your soulmate?”

The words are innocent enough, but there’s a lining of steel behind them. 

Twelve-year-old Hanamaki does  _ not  _ want to write to his soulmate. Especially not when his mother walks in front of the TV on the  _ last lap _ of Wario’s Gold Mine. Hanamaki leans around her in time to see his bike fly off the track and into darkness. He scowls and presses the plus button to pause the race and prevent any more damage. 

Hanamaki looks up to aim his glare at his mom. She’s standing looking down at him with her hands on her hips.

“Well?” She’s clearly not having it today.

That doesn’t mean Hanamaki’s going to cave easily.

“No.”

Her eyebrows raise. “Excuse me? I could’ve sworn I just heard the word, ‘No,’ come out of your mouth, but that can’t be the case, because children listen to their parents in this household.”

Hanamaki lowers his head back down to scowl at the TV again, or what he can see of it from between his mom’s legs. 

“Give me that remote.”

His head snaps up. “What?”

Her hand is held out and she looks adamant and calm, but also like she knows his only choice is to give it to her. “The remote, hand it to me.”

Hanamaki moves to hold it behind his back. “Why.” 

He doesn’t stand a chance, she just grabs his arm and takes the remote from him. 

“Because I’m your mother and I’m telling you to. Now take this pen, and write them. If they haven’t responded in ten minutes, you can go back to your game.”

After a moment of stubborn glaring, he takes the pen. She smiles, satisfied, and turns to walk into the kitchen, remote in hand. Hanamaki flops back on the recliner.  

Hanamaki just stares at his arm for a couple minutes before simply writing, 

_ yo _

There’s not an immediate response, and after a few minutes, he sighs and slumps onto the arm of the chair. He continues to stare at his arm as nothing happens for what seems like hours. He sighs and switches to drape over the other arm. He vaguely notices that his pen’s color is blue. After a while longer, he lets go a bigger sigh and turns sideways across  _ both  _ arms of the chair. 

Hanamaki looks at the time and sees it’s only been six minutes. His next sigh is actually more of a dramatic groan and he throws his arm over his face. 

He sits up to yell for his mom to come give him the remote back when a word he hadn’t written appears next to his own.

_ hey _

Well, that was that. He starts to yell for his mom again, when he realizes that she’ll probably want him to try a little more than that. As much as he wants to spite her, he wants to play his game as soon as possible, too. So he writes the first thing that comes to his mind.

_ Idk about you being my soulmate and us spending our whole lives together _

The reply is quick this time.

_ same _

Ok, at least his soulmate’s own mother hadn’t gotten to them yet. 

_ I don’t like girls _

_ I’m not a girl _

Hanamaki wasn’t expecting that. He tries to recover.

_ good, cuz if you were, I wouldn’t like you _

_ funnily enough, I worked that out _

What the heck, this guy is rude. 

_ how do I know you’re not some creep? _

_ I’m in middle school _

_ how do i know that though _

_ I guess you don’t _

Hanamaki isn’t getting anywhere with this, so he changes tactics. 

_ what’s your name? _

_ Matsukawa Issei, what’s yours? _

_ I can’t tell you! I still don’t know if you’re a creep... _

_ so, you trick me into saying my name, but you get to have your secrets...wow _

Hanamaki supposes that his soulmate should at least have something to call him by.

_ well, my mom calls me ‘Hiro’ if you wanna call me that _

_ alright _

Hanamaki doesn’t know where to go from here, and he’s also running out of room on his arm. Evidently, his soulmate, this….‘Issei’ person, has realized it too, because the things he wrote are disappearing in swipes, like it’s being washed off. 

Searching for something else to talk about, Hanamaki  glances at the TV and writes, 

_ do you like Mario Kart? _

_ yeah, of course _

_ who do you race with? _

_ Toad _

Hanamaki stares incredulous at his arm. 

_ what. _

The person on the other end must not know what to say after that, because the response takes a few minutes and then all they say is, 

_???? _

Hanamaki has no qualms about setting this guy straight. 

_ Toad is a dick _

The response to that is instant.

_ ooooo naughty language, I’m gonna tell~ _

Hanamaki finds himself grinning at that, and feels slightly angry that he can’t make it go away.

_ how the hell are you going to tell on me, you don’t even know me _

_ I’ll just follow the smell of the shit coming out of your mouth, obvi, who thinks Toad is a dick?? _

Hanamaki isn’t even mad that he’s grinning anymore, and snickers as he writes back, glancing to make sure his mom is busy in the kitchen and won’t come back and read what he’s writing. 

_ no, I mean Toad is actually a dick, like he reminds me of a dick _

Hanamaki waits for the reply eagerly now. 

_ do you have a dick? _

Hanamaki’s face scrunches looking at the writing on his arm; where did  _ that _ come from?

_ yes?? _

_ then what the hell does your dick look like??? Toad looks nothing like a dick _

Hanamaki bursts out laughing, and quickly scrambles to cover his arm when his mom looks over. She only looks over to give him a smug look, though, before going back to what she’s doing.

Hanamaki decides that maybe spending a lot of his time with this guy won’t be so bad. He didn’t know he had the option to have a guy for a soulmate, but he’s glad he does since any girl he knows probably would’ve cried when he wrote the word ‘dick’. 

Then again, Hanamaki doesn’t know a lot of girls; he doesn’t like them, in case you don’t know.

**Author's Note:**

> please give me comments, i am in desperate need of Validation 
> 
> (most of this fic is written, i just needed to post something. so dw it'll be finished)


End file.
